‐ So you got to ride the Maid of the Mist in Niagara Falls
which was fun, but you wish someone had said they'd be
boating you right into the cocksucker.
‐ You got in trouble for talking too much in class so
you decided never to talk again,
and now you've got autism.
‐ You're not allowed to play hockey because your parents
say it costs too much, but your friend Kent plays
and he's pov.
‐ You got in trouble for saying your older cousin was
cute but only because everyone else was saying it
and how come every else gets off for saying ‐
peer pressure.
‐ You wear your splash pants in class because you got
Bugle Boy jeans and you don't want people thinking
you're a rich kid.
‐ You can't have a juice box because it's too late in the
day for liquids.
‐ Jamie Newman tattled on you for cuppa farting on him,
but he cupped a fart on you at Sunday school
so he started it.
‐ Your friend Jed MacDonald said he didn't want to be
friends with you anymore, but that's ok‐k,
because he just got suspended for humping girls.
[rooster crows]
‐ Brandon Tickertown pantsed a girl in gym class and she
cried, so you pantsed him but only he had to stay
after school.
‐ You're catching crayfish in the river and all you have
to do is get your bottom half wet and no one will
know you're peeing.
‐ Your friend's uncle is a mountie,
and I'm going to tell you, mountie's horses take
the biggest poops.
‐ You got in trouble for picking your nose and eating it,
which was bad, but you got in bigger trouble
for eating paste.
‐ Kyle McKenzie was showboating donuts on his
Big Wheel and ran over your sister's foot,
so you go throwed his big wheel into the river.
‐ Your sweetie is the one who asked to wear your hat at
recess so it's her own fault she got head lice.
‐ You got asked to sing in an all‐boys choir but your dad
said singing's for fairies.
Fairies can fly though, so, so you went and asked your
mom a wee bit later.
♪ [happy music] ♪